Ashkenazic: Relating to Jews from Central and Eastern Europe
Bris: A short-hand name for “brit milah”
Brit milah: A religious ceremony involving circumcision of an 8-day old Jewish child bringing him formally into the Covenant between God and the Jewish people
Drosh: A short educational lesson, usually on a biblical subject
Haftarah: A section of the Bible that is read following the week’s Torah portion, usually derived from the writings of the prophets
Hatafat dam brit: A ceremony of ritual purification substituting for the brit milah ceremony when, for whatever reason, a circumcision is not performed at the same time
Kiddush: Blessing over wine
Kohane: A descendent from the tribe of Jewish priests who presided at the Temple in ancient Jerusalem. Kohanes often have last names such as Cohen, Cohn, Kahan, Kahn, etc.
Midrash: A story or tale told in the Bible, Talmud, or other religious writings
Minyan: Ten Jews thirteen years of age or older. Traditionally a minyan consisted only of men; now in Reform and Conservative congregations, men and women can constitute a minyan
Mogen: A modern variation of the traditional instrument for performing Jewish ritual circumcisions, now in general use by physicians for all circumcisions.
Mohel: A person trained both medically and religiously to perform a kosher brit milah ceremony.
Orlah: Foreskin
Pidyon: A symbolic ransoming of the firstborn male from the ancient obligation of having to devote his life to the service of God and the Temple.
Sandek: An honorary position at brit milah ceremonies often given to a prominent family member or friend. It involves holding the baby on one’s lap during the brit milah service.
Shalom zachar: A festive meal served on the Friday night after a male child is born.
Shehecheyanu: Prayer thanking God for having brought all those present together again for the occasion being celebrated.
Shulchan Aruch: Summary and codification of Jewish law composed in 1563 by Joseph Caro.
Simchah: Joyful occasion of religious significance
11:26. And Terah lived 70 years, and begot Abram, Nahor, and Haran.
11:29. And Abram and Nahor took them wives: the name of Abram’s wife was Sarai; the name of Nahor’s wife was Milcah.
11:30. And Sarai was barren; she had no child.
11:31. And Terah took Abram his son…… and his son Abram’s wife…. and they set out to go to the land of Canaan.
12:1-2. Now the Lord said unto Abram: “Get thee out of your country, and from thy kindred, and from thy father’s house, unto the land that I will show thee. And I will make of thee a great nation, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great; and thou wilt be blessed.
12:7. And the Lord appeared unto Abram and said: “Unto thy seed will I give this land”.
15:2-5. And Abram said: “O Lord God, what wilt thou give me, seeing I go hence childless, and he that shall be possessor of my houses is Eliezer of Damascus?” And Abram said: “behold, to me thou hast given no seed, so a servant in my household is to be my heir.” And behold, the word of the Lord came unto him saying, “This man shall not be thine heir but he that shall come forth out of thine own bowels shall be thine heir”.
17:1. And when Abram was 90 years old and nine, the Lord appeared to Abram, and said unto him: “I am God Almighty; walk before me and be thou wholehearted. And I will make my Covenant between me and thee, and will multiply you exceedingly” And Abram fell on his face; and God spoke with him, saying: “As for me, behold, my Covenant is with thee, and thou shalt be the father of a multitude of nations. Neither shall thy name anymore be Abram, but thy name shall be Abraham; for the father of a multitude of nations have I made thee. …. and I will establish my Covenant between me and thee and thy seed after thee throughout their generations for an everlasting Covenant, to be God to you and to your descendants after you.
17:10-13. This is my Covenant between me and you and thy seed after thee: every male among you shall be circumcised. And ye shall be circumcised in the flesh of your foreskin; and it shall be a token of a Covenant between me and you. And he that is eight days old shall be circumcised among you, every male throughout your generations, ….. My Covenant is in your flesh for an everlasting Covenant.
17:15. And God said to Abraham: as for Sarai thy wife, thou shalt not call her name Sarai, but Sarah shall her name be. And I will bless her, and moreover I will give thee a son of her; yea I will bless her, and she shall be a mother of nations; kings of peoples shall be of her.” Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart: “shall a child be born unto him that is 100 years old? And shall Sarah, that is 90 years old, bear?” ….And God said: “nay, but Sarah thy wife shall bear thee a son; and thou shalt call his name Isaac, and I will establish my Covenant with him for an everlasting Covenant for his seed after him.”…. And Abraham took……. all that were born in his house…. every male among the men of Abraham’s house, and circumcised the flesh of their foreskins in the selfsame day, as God had said unto him. And Abraham was 90 years old and nine, when he was circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin.
(Please feel free to skip this section if it does not apply to you).
Traditionally, it was considered obligatory to have a male child circumcised before burial even in the horrific situation of a stillborn boy or a boy who died shortly after birth. In such circumstances no prayer is recited. The mohel performs the procedure either at the graveside or at a funeral home. This fulfills the very specific requirement in Jewish law that the foreskin of a male is to be removed. The deceased child is given a Jewish name. This sacred obligation was carried out even in the horror of the concentration camps of WWII.
More recently, some rabbis have argued that circumcising a deceased baby is NOT obligatory but rather the wishes of the family should be taken into account. In these very difficult cases, the family should discuss with their rabbi and a mohel how they should proceed.
A non-Jewish male who wishes to convert to Judaism must:
Have a ritual circumcision (usually with the circumcision component under general anesthesia)
Be immersed in a mikveh—ritual bath
Accept the obligation to fulfill the commandments in the Torah
Pledge to lead a Jewish life
Take on or be assigned a Hebrew name
His bris cannot take place on the Sabbath or a Jewish holiday. If a candidate for conversion is already circumcised, he has to undergo the ceremony of hatafat dam brit as describe previously.
Adoption
If a boy born to a Jewish mother is adopted by Jewish parents and the child has had a brit milah ceremony, then nothing need be done in terms of affirming his Jewish identity. In the more common instance where a Jewish couple adopts a boy born to a non-Jewish mother, then the child has to go through the standard conversion process as noted above. If he is already circumcised, part of this process will be to undergo hatafat dam brit.
Brit Shalom (no circumcision) ceremonies
There are some parents that very much want their child to have a Jewish identity and undergo a Jewish birth ritual but for any of a variety of reasons feel strongly that they do not want their son circumcised. A new sort of ceremony is emerging, developed by such parents, to fulfill this need. Although definitely not equivalent to a regular brit milah in terms of Jewish law, such ceremonies can provide a meaningful bridge between rejecting the concept of circumcision yet attempting to fulfill some aspect of Jewish ritual.
Already-prepared examples of such services can be found on the web taking many portions from the regular brit milah liturgy; some of these prewritten services even have musical accompaniments. As with a traditional brit milah service, the parents will need to pick a Hebrew name for their son which is announced during the naming portion of the brit shalom ceremony. Some individuals have incorporated a pomegranate into the ceremony, the cutting of which symbolically replaces the removal of the foreskin. The pomegranate is used because the pomegranate supposedly has 613 seeds which correspond to the 613 mitzvot in the Torah.
Brises for nontraditional couples
The brit milah ceremony can be performed for a Jewish male child of a parent or parents of any configuration: single parents, interfaith couples (one non-Jewish parent), LGBT couples, divorced parents, grandparents, or other caretakers of a child.
The ceremony of pidyon ha-ben, although not frequently observed today, is one of the oldest in Judaism. It involves the ceremonial “redemption” of a firstborn son from compulsory service to God as a priest or other religious functionary. It has two ancient origins. The first stems from the days of the Temple in Jerusalem where Jews brought their first fruits of the harvest each year —lambs, chickens, calves, fruits, grains, and—yes—their first-born sons—as a Thanksgiving offering to God. An example of this can be seen in the book of Samuel where Hannah, who finally gives birth to a son after many years of infertility, brings him to the sanctuary at Shiloh for service to the Lord.
The second biblically-ascribed origin of this custom stems from the time when Moses was attempting to free the Israelites from slavery under Pharaoh. When the 10th plague—killing of firstborn sons— was implemented, Jewish boys were saved by their fathers “redeeming” them prior to the Angel of Death passing through the land. This practice was explicitly commanded in Exodus 13:2 when God says to Moses
Consecrate to me every firstborn male. The firstborn from every womb among the Israelites belong to me, both of man and beast.
Subsequently, to relieve Jews from the obligation of giving over their firstborn sons for religious duty, a special tribe—Levi—was established to perform ritual functions in the temple and elsewhere.
The ritual of pidyon ha-ben takes place on the 31st day of the boy’s life. A father symbolically ransoms his son from the obligation of lifelong service to God by paying a Kohane (a descendent of the ancient tribe of temple priests often having the name “Cohen”, “Kahan”, “Kohn”, etc.) a token amount of money, often the equivalent of five dollars. Part of the “deal” is that the father promises that his son will receive appropriate religious and spiritual education. In the United States silver dollars are often used for this “payment”.
The rule applies only to a son if he is the “opener of the mother’s womb”; if the son was preceded by a sibling, he does not have to be redeemed. Likewise, a child born via cesarean section is not redeemed. In a situation of a second marriage where the parents already have other children, only the mother’s situation counts; if this is the father’s first child but not the mother’s and it is a boy, he is not redeemed.
If for whatever reason a first-born male was not “redeemed” by his parents, he must redeem himself when he grows up.
While the ceremony is carried out on the 31st day, it is postponed if that day is Shabbat or a major Jewish holiday. Kohanes and Levites are exempt from this custom since their role traditionally always was Temple service.
The ceremony runs as follows:
The parents of the baby boy “give” their son to a Kohane. He symbolically represents the priesthood who, in ancient times, would have had this child assigned to them.
The parents say, “This is our firstborn son whom God had commanded us to redeem”.
The Kohane then gives the parents the choice of giving to him their firstborn son or redeeming him for five shekels as they are obliged to do according to the Torah.
The parents of course state that they wish to redeem their son for the five shekels which they give to the Kohane in accordance with the commandment in the Torah, usually in the form of five silver dollars.
The Kohane takes the money and gives the baby back to the parents. The parents then say prescribed blessings regarding the mitzvah of the ceremony they have just performed and the shehecheyanu prayer, which thanks God for allowing them to have been present for this occasion.
The Kohane, placing the five dollars on the child’s head, says “This is in exchange for the obligation of service”. He then blesses the child and, using the traditional wording of the brit milah ceremony, prays that the child has a life that involves study of the Torah, a happy marriage, and the performance of good deeds. The service then concludes with the blessing over wine and the priestly benediction.
The five dollars is either quietly returned to the father or given to charity.
Recently similar ceremonies for baby girls have been developed. They all emphasize the unique experience of becoming parents for the first time.
Traditionally, while newborn boys were celebrated at their brit milah ceremony on the eighth day after their birth, the only acknowledgment of the birth of a newborn girl was her formal naming at synagogue the Shabbat immediately following her birth. At that time the girl’s father was called up to read from the Torah and the baby’s name was announced by the rabbi within the context of a short prayer for the baby’s and mother’s health (Mi Shebeirach blessing). Current Jewish practice has no ceremony or equivalent to the brit milah for baby girls.
Traditional Sephardic Jews do have more of a celebration following the birth of a daughter. This includes singing songs in her honor, the preparation of a festive meal, and sometimes even placing the baby in a miniature bridal gown and then passing her from guest to guest, each of whom pronounces a blessing over her.
Because of this inequality in the celebration of male and female newborns in Ashkenazi communities, there has been a movement over the last several decades sparked by Jewish feminists to change this. Many parents are now arranging for a similar eighth day commemoration for their newborn daughters along the lines of the brit milah ceremony—but of course without the circumcision.
These ceremonies go by various names:
Simchat bat (Joy of the daughter), Brit hayyim (Covenant of life), Brit kedusha (Covenant of sanctification), Brit bat Zion (Covenant for the daughters of Zion)
There is no fixed liturgy for brit bat ceremonies. Services are usually developed from scratch by the girl’s parents often using sections from the male brit milah ceremony. However, there are now available online several different prewritten scripts that can be used for this celebration.
Another suggested means of honoring the birth of baby girls is the ceremonial dipping of a part of the child into water—tevila—as a reminder of the hospitality of Abraham and Sarah described in Genesis 18.
A brit bat ceremony is usually performed on the eighth day to echo the brit milah ceremony. Other choices for dates are 30 days after the newborn girl’s birth (which allows a mother to recover from giving birth) or on the first day of the new month, Rosh Chodesh, symbolizing the alignment of a woman’s physiologic cycles with the phases of the moon.
One can assign the same honors—sandek, kvetterin, candle lighters—to family or guests and there can be blessings over wine, bread, and the shehecheyanu blessing—thanks for God’s allowing family and friends to get together again. A chair can be set up for Elijah who, if he comes to all brit milah ceremonies as a demonstration that Jews continue to keep their promises to bring their newborn boys into the Covenant, can equally well come to brit bat ceremonies for baby girls.
Below is a general outline of how a brit bat service might be organized:
1. Introductory blessings and prayers
Baruch HaBa Candle lighting Readings and prayers Blessing over wine
2. Covenant prayers.
Water ritual: washing baby’s feet or hands Placing baby’s hands on Torah
3 Naming and final blessings.
Closing of ceremony with three blessings:
Shehecheyanu. Blessing for the new daughter’s well-being Priestly benediction.
4. Celebratory meal.
Whether or not the concept of brit bat will gain wide-spread acceptance remains to be seen. But with this new take on an ancient ceremony for boys, there is now an entirely appropriate and religiously consistent means of honoring the birth of a newborn girl.
Names are important in all cultures. We sometimes pick a name to keep alive the memory of someone who has passed on. We sometimes pick a name because we like the trait it represents. Sometimes we just like the sound of the name.
Adam
Benjamin
Daniel
Jonathan
Joshua
Joseph
Nathan
Solomon
Zeke
In the Bible, names are of major significance. The Book of Genesis tells us that the giving of names was the first function that God assigned mankind to do independently. We read in Genesis 2:20 that Adam was asked to name all “the beasts of the field, the birds of the air, and every living thing”. In the story of Moses we also see an example of the significance of names for the ancient Israelites. When Moses sees a bush on fire that is not consumed and is asked by God to speak to the Israelites and Pharaoh, Moses says to God:
“Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘the God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is His name?’ then what shall I tell them?”. (Exodus 3:13).
Even name changes are of great significance: Abram and Sarai have their names changed to Abraham and Sarah as they enter into the Covenant with God (Genesis 17:4-6); Jacob’s name is changed to Israel after his night of wrestling with an angel (Genesis 32:28).
The giving of a name to a child is likewise an event of great significance. It provides him or her with what will be a permanent, lifelong identifier; it is the label by which he or she will be known to the world. Thus the selection of a name deserves all the time and effort that parents put into it.
In contemporary American life, a Jewish child typically receives both an English name and a Hebrew name. In some cases the two are the same–David, Benjamin, and Jacob for boys and Sarah, Rebecca, and Rachel for girls. When an American Jewish child is given a non-Biblical name as a first name, then he or she is also given an additional Hebrew name. The Hebrew name will be used in any formal Jewish event such as at the time of bar or bat mitzvah. In the past girls’ Hebrew names were considered less important because women were not called to read from the Torah. With the advent of the Reform and Conservative movements in the U.S. that of course has changed.
Why delay the announcement of the Hebrew name until the bris?
Traditionally, a boy’s Hebrew name is not announced until the brit milah ceremony. Why is this? Two reasons are most commonly given:
Since the names of Abram and Sarai were not changed to Abraham and Sarah until Abraham had undergone his circumcision and “entered into the Covenant with God”, we continue to follow that same practice of not assigning a “permanent” name to a male child until he, too, has entered the Covenant by having his brit milah ceremony.
In ancient days the rabbis argued that a thing cannot be named until it is completed. That same tradition held that the newborn male was not considered to have attained “completion” or “perfection” until he had undergone his ritual circumcision. Thus it was not until after a male newborn had undergone his brit milah ceremony that it was felt appropriate to give him his Hebrew name.
Traditions in name selection
Of all the different reasons for picking a particular Hebrew name, the most common is to remember a beloved family member who is no longer living. This is done by giving a child the Hebrew name of that person or selecting a name using the deceased relative’s first initial. In this way the names of either male or female antecedents can be kept alive. There is a biblical precedent for this: “The memory of the righteous is for a blessing” (Proverbs 10:7).
Among more religious Jews two other traditions apply:
Picking an accepted biblical name
Picking a name correlating to an individual mentioned in the Torah or haftarah portion read the week of the baby’s birth. For instance, the name Noah might be picked for a baby born when the weekly reading is about the flood and the arc or the name Moses chosen if the birth occurred during Passover.
Superstitions abound when it comes to naming practices:
Ashkenazi Jews traditionally will not name a baby after a living grandparent. This is so that the Angel of Death does not accidentally get confused and take the wrong person (the baby instead of the elder) when the latter’s time comes. Conversely, in Sephardic communities, it is common for newborn males to be given the name of their living paternal grandfather.
Jews are reluctant to name their child after someone who has died either from illness or accident at a young age or before their time.
In Ashkenazi families it is generally considered that the mother has the right and honor of selecting the name for her first child, the privilege of naming subsequent children alternating between the parents. Supposedly this custom evolved because of the practice for a young couple to be supported by the wife’s father while the husband continued his Torah studies. Others feel that this tradition came about as “payback” for all that the mother went through during the pregnancy, labor, and delivery of this first child.
Zvi—Hebrew Hershal–Yiddish (Both mean “deer”)
Because Yiddish was the day-to-day language of Eastern European Jews for many centuries, the custom has persisted in some families of giving their children Yiddish names in addition to Hebrew names. The reason for this was that in those European communities Hebrew was considered to be a sacred language to be used only when praying to God and not as an everyday medium for lay usage; the same applied to a child’s common name.
How to choose names for your newborn son, both English and Hebrew
For some mothers, it may be the case that they have had a name in mind since playing with dolls as a child. For other mothers and fathers there may be somebody in their family, their community, or even from world history that has made such an impression on them they would like to bestow that person’s name on their newborn. For many parents-to-be it is just a matter of sorting through the pages of baby-naming books or web sites.
Empty meeting room with blank projector screen
Things to think about when choosing a name:
Pick a name that sounds good now and will also sound appropriate in the Board Room in 40 years. Over flowery, hip, or trendy names may not stand the test of time.
Pick first and middle names that sound good with the baby’s last name. Consider how many syllables each part of the name has.
Consider how the name can be distorted in the schoolyard to sound embarrassing, obscene, or ridiculous.
No matter what you try to establish as your baby’s name, the world will assign different nicknames to him or her. Consider what nicknames—benign or not—your child’s schoolmates could devise based on the proper name you have selected.
If you are considering a very popular name, think whether your child will be pleased to see two or three other hands go up each time his or her name is called in school.
Several things can happen to the names of politicians, movie stars, and athletes currently in the news. They can become the name of every other kid on the street, their names can be besmirched over time by that individual’s activities, or the memories of the individuals upon whom the names are selected can fade with the passage of time. Consider this if picking a celebrity name.
Sources for Hebrew names
Several books of Jewish names are available in bookstores or online
Alfred J. Kolatch: The Comprehensive Dictionary of English & Hebrew First Names
Smadar Shir Sidi: The Complete Book of Hebrew Baby Names
Atina Amrah: Best Hebrew Names for Babies: Popular Hebrew Baby Boys and Girls Names with Meanings
Benjamin Rabbi Blech and Elaine Blech: Your Name Is Your Blessing: Hebrew Names and Their Mystical Meanings
Your rabbi or other clergy at your synagogue can help you make an appropriate name selection. Even if you are not affiliated with a synagogue or temple, call one in your area anyway. They will usually be happy to help—and may see in your growing family possible new members.
Family members and friends will be all too eager to make multiple suggestions
Depending on your degree of traditionalism, you may wish to choose a name prominent in the Torah or haftarah portion that was read in the week the baby was born.
Some names are generally avoided in Judaism because of strong negative associations: Adolph, Jezebel, Titus, Haman
Despite all the research and effort you put into selecting a name for your baby, perhaps the best strategy is to have several preferred choices in mind and then when the baby is born, justlook at the baby! Often at that moment one of the names on your list will seem to click. Then mentally look ahead and see how that name would work for a toddler, an eight-year-old, an adolescent, a college student, a young adult, and finally as a fully mature adult with professional and family responsibilities.
Hatafat dam brit is a procedure performed under the following specific circumstances:
— a baby who is circumcised in the hospital (for whatever reason) without a proper brit milah ceremony having been performed
— an adult who has already been circumcised but who has not had a brit milah ceremony. This was the case for many Russian Jews who came to the United States and Israel in the 1990’s and thereafter. Such individuals who had never been circumcised and who wanted to do so to be in conformation with Jewish law had to undergo adult circumcision under anesthesia while having the brit milah prayers said by special arrangement.
— a convert to Judaism who has already been circumcised
Hatafat dam brit involves drawing a drop of blood from the penis while performing a religious ceremony similar to that of the brit milah. It is a rite of ritual purification.
The origin of this procedure and its rationale is this: A brit milah is much more than a medical circumcision; removal of the foreskin constitutes only one part of the mitzvah. The purpose of performing a bris is to enter a boy (or man) into the Covenant of Israel. This is what performing the service of hatafat dam brit does in the case of babies, boys, and men who fall under the categories mentioned above.
Fortunately, very little needs to be done to care for the baby after circumcision. Parents are advised to apply a cherry-sized amount of Vaseline or other ointment to the part of the diaper that will cover the head of the penis every time they change the baby for the five days following the circumcision. If, as mentioned above, any signs of excessive bleeding or infection appear, the mohel or the pediatrician should be called. The baby can be bathed 24 hours after his circumcision (if his cord stump has already fallen off). Prior to the end of the twenty-four hours, any stool or urine that gets on the penis should be washed off gently with a wet, warm, soft cloth.
Although not dictated by Jewish law, many mohels will request that the baby’s parents bury the foreskin. Human flesh is sacred in Judaism; it is not thrown into the trash. Rather, any detached human flesh is buried: “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust” (paraphrasing Genesis 18:27 and Job 30:19). Some mohels, therefore, will wrap the foreskin in aluminum foil or place it in an envelope and give it to the parents with instructions for them to bury it in the ground. Sephardic Jews have a custom of burying the foreskin under a newly planted tree praying that both the tree and the child will grow tall and strong.
